Waking Up
by Terez
Summary: Alice wakes up after her transformation to a vision of Jasper. She sees that he is in pain and decides to find him. This is their journey to find each other. Note that some chapters will focus more Alice and some will focus more on Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**

**IMPORTANT: Read Author's Note at the end**

**Italics are visions**

**Thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing for me.  
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**Waking up**

_He sat hunched over his lower back resting against a crumbling building. He was a blond haired man with crescent shaped scars on his hands and face. It was clear this man was in pain. His hands were blood stained and his clothes were torn and dirty. His face looked tired, his blood red eyes lifeless._

"_Jasper," a male voice called off in the distance._

_The blond turned his head acknowledging the name and then the scene faded black._

A young woman sat in the middle of a filed shaking her head to clear what she had just seen. "Jasper," she called tenderly, tasting his name on her lips. The man was beautiful and she was confused as to where he had gone. "Jasper," she called louder hoping he would respond. She then stood, glancing around and realizing he would not respond. She took a hesitant step forward and looked at everything as if it was the first time. "Hello?" She called out hoping anyone would answer. When no one did, she continued walking and looking at everything she passed.

Coming upon a river she was surprised at her reflection. The girl staring back at her was a mess, but nevertheless, beautiful. Her skin was as pale as Jasper's and her eyes just as red. Her black hair looked like a birds nest and the gray gown she was wearing was clearly too big for her. She had mud smeared on the gown and some on her face as if she had been sleeping outside the past few days. She wondered if Jasper would find her appealing as she found him, and the fear that he might not made her sick with apprehension.

While she really had no idea who Jasper was, for some reason his opinion of her meant everything. She sighed and sat down by the river not quite knowing what to do with herself. She wanted to find Jasper, because for some reason she felt connected to him, but had no idea where to start looking. She started to draw lazily in the dirt when she heard a pounding in her ears. Glancing around she tried to find the source of the noise and was almost scared when her vision started to fade.

_Two golden-eyed men were running side-by-side chasing deer. The one leading was blond and clearly older than his bronzed haired companion. After a few moments they closed in on the deer and each jumped on a deer's back. They snapped their necks effortlessly and started to drain their blood._

Shaking her head again, she was surprised that what she had seen had not disgusted her, but enticed her. The pounding grew louder as her throat started to burn and her mouth began to water. Unable to contain herself she jumped up and ran into the forest intent on finding her food.

She came upon a herd of deer quickly and jumped on the back of the first one she could catch. The animal staggered as she positioned her hands to snap the animal's neck and was shocked when she tore the whole head from the body. Jumping off the deer quickly she proceeded to drink as much blood as she could. In the end she had gotten only a few mouth full's of blood, most of it had ended up on the ground. She looked down at the deer, disappointed that her feeding had not been anywhere near as clean as the two males. She then noticed that the deer's sides were indented where she had been sitting, indicating she had crushed its ribs when she went to snap its neck. She was clearly a lot stronger than she had thought. Not knowing what else to do, she shook her head and walked away form the massacre she had just created.

She took off at a run eventually and managed to find the heard again. She repeated the same movements as she tried to be gentler with breaking the neck and was pleased when she managed to keep most of the head on and swallow a little more blood. She left the animal again and continued hunting. By the fourth deer she was able to keep the whole head attached and avoided breaking the animal's ribs.

Feeling full, she found the river again and was disappointed at what she saw. She was covered in blood. Her once grayish gown was now red down the middle with splatters everywhere else. Her hair, which had looked bad, was now matted with dry blood and her pale skin was stained a bright red. She then turned her attention away form the water to look at the ground. She noticed she was standing in the same spot she had been earlier and saw that in the dirt she had written a name. Alice. The name sounded familiar to her for some reason. "Alice," she said aloud and oddly enough the name did not sound foreign to her lips. It had to be her name she decided and was sad that she was not certain. Alice then jumped into the water and began to wash away the blood turning the water a soft pink. In the middle of scrubbing her vision then started to fade.

_Jasper was sitting against a rock his eyes closed. "Jasper." He opened his eyes and lifted his head at the sound of his name._

"_Maria," he breathed almost reluctantly._

_A beautiful woman stood in front of him. She was relatively tall, had long brown hair, red eyes and a smile that was almost wicked. "Come on, you have work to do."_

_Jasper stood, the simple task stealing every last ounce of energy he had left within him. Maria turned and started to retreat, not offering any form of support. Jasper let out a sigh and followed her, practically dragging his feet, looking like a man on death row. Then slowly Jasper and Maria began to fade._

Alice let out a broken sob and collapsed against the riverbank as the world around her returned. It was obvious to her that this Maria was causing him pain. She wanted nothing more then to protect him from her and make all his pain go away. What she saw broke her heart. Alice forced back another sob as she pushed herself off the bank. She was going to find him, no matter how long it took. Jumping out of the water she rung out her blood and mud stained gown and then started walking away from the river in a random direction. She had no idea were Jasper was, but she knew he was not here, and in the end that was all that mattered.

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**A/N: Okay so this might stay a one-shot or become a multi-chapter fic, it all depends on what my reviewers want, because there is really no point in writing a story no one is going to read. If it does become a multi-chapter fic I might just go until Alice finds Jasper or until they met the Cullen's (I have not decided yet). If it does become a longer story I will have to write it all out before I post the next chapter, as I do not want to be half way through and give up the story. **

**IMPORTANT!!!!  
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**So while looking up information today (Feb. 25) on when Esme joined Carlisle and Edward I discovered that Jasper left Maria in 1885. Which would make my timeline inaccurate as in this chapter Jasper is still with Maria and it is 1920. I hope it is okay that my timeline is off thirty-five years, I had no idea he left that early. If it really irritates you guys just let me know. **

**So with that said, please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I want to thank all of my reviewers and I am so glad you guys wanted a continuation.**

**Thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing.  
**

**The first part is about Jasper.

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**(A month before Alice's first vision of Jasper)**

"Maria!" Jasper called, trying to fight the fear that was taking residence on his face.

Maria turned from the vampire she was speaking with and sped toward Jasper. "What?" Maria asked.

He swallowed before beginning "Peter and Charlotte ran off."

"Peter what?" Maria demanded while grabbing his jaw and squeezing.

"Peter left," Jasper managed to choke out, knowing that if she squeezed any tighter she would break his jaw.

Maria hissed as she let go of Jasper with a flick of her wrist. "How long ago did they leave?"

"About twenty minutes, I had to finish killing all the others."

Maria hissed as her eyes turned out to sweep the desert, "They'll be dead by morning."

Jasper thought he had hid the sad look on his face, but Maria's last statement showed he had not. "Why so sad Jasper?" Maria asked as she began to run a finger down the side of his face.

"Controlling and killing the newborns will be harder without Peter around."

"Oh if you were stressed out, you should have told me," Maria said as she brought both her hands to his shoulders and began to rub them.

Jasper could feel her lust, desire and excitement and it all made him feel sick to his stomach. He just was not interested in Maria that way and if he was being honest he really did not enjoy her company at all.

"I could make all your pain go away," Maria said seductively. Jasper then sucked in a surprised breath when she leaned up and kissed him firmly on the lips. He did not kiss her back though and wanted nothing more than to push her off of him, but in the time he had come to know Maria he knew it would do no good. When she wanted something, she got it and if you stood in her way you were as good as dead.

Maria pulled back and gave him a surly look. "Not much of a kisser, Major?"

"No, ma'am." Even in the given situation he still could not bring himself to be rude to her. "I don't believe in kissing a woman I do not intend marrying."

Maria then stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "Aw such a gentleman, but I'm all you have Jasper and this is all you will ever be. This is the life you were meant to live and this is as good as it is ever going to be, so when someone offers you a way to escape the pain I suggest you take it."

She leaned down and kissed his lips again, this time Jasper found himself not resisting as mush as he had been before. Her emotions washed over him again and he wasn't disgusted, but actually began enjoying her emotions. She had kick him while he was down, reminded him that this was all his life was going to amount to and the emotions she was giving off were better than the emotions he had felt for almost the last sixty years.

Maria pulled back and smiled at him again before turning and leading him towards an abandoned building.

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(Present)

Jasper felt positively sick with himself. He wanted to stop, he truly did but couldn't, he had become addicted. It was not to the act he was addicted to for that was not really pleasurable to him as Maria was never gentle. It was the emotional atmosphere he had become addicted to. He was so use to feeling anger, fear, depression, bitterness, that the thought of spending a few hours feeling lighter emotions that he just could not bring himself to say no and now he was paying for it.

He knew she did not love him that she lust for him and that made it worse. He also knew that if the opportunity should come she would not hesitate to stab him in the back, he was expendable just as every other soldier was.

"Jasper," Maria called as she reached out to touch him. He stiffened and moved away the moment her fingers brushed his skin. "Oh come now Jasper, don't be like that."

He hissed in response; she knew he did not like being touched afterwards and still every time she tried.

Maria snorted as she rolled over on the bed. "Just go if you're going to be depressing."

Jasper snarled as he stood and dressed quickly. "Close the door behind you," Maria called. Jasper slammed the door hard in response causing the wood to split. He walked quickly out of the building fuming as other vampires scrambled out of his way. Once he was a good distance from their territory his anger gave way to sorrow. He felt like in some way he had betrayed someone.

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(A couple of weeks after Alice's transformation; Alice's POV)

Alice shook her head as she fought back a sob. She knew that he did not love Maria. That for him the act had become his way of adapting and dealing with his pain.

She stood on the boarder of Kentucky and Tennessee and had been standing in the same spot for several hours. Visions had been taking her, displaying frighteningly what would happen if she crossed the boarder and it always ended the same: mauled and killed. Alice let out a frustrated sigh as she sat down. The biggest problem was not knowing what state he was in. She could not risk just running around through the south with no direction.

Her body then stiffened as another vision overtook her.

"_We have to go back for him Charlotte." A blond man about Jasper's height was pacing back and forth in a forest while Charlotte sat on a rock watching him._

_"Peter, we can't. He'll kill us."_

_"No," Peter said as he stopped pacing and squatted down in front of her taking her hands into his. "He's a good man Charlotte, he's just in a bad situation."_

_"Peter, I—"_

_"He let us go, didn't he?" Peter asked rhetorically, his eyes pleading with her to understand._

_Charlotte looked her mate in the eyes; she could see that he was clearly determined to help him. "Okay."_

If Alice could cry tears of joy she would have. She had come to know that Peter was a good friend of Jasper's and was so relieved that they were going to help when she couldn't. She then tired to force a vision of what would happen now that they were going to get him and was pleased to see that everything would be okay. Peter and Charlotte would have no trouble finding him and she only hoped he that he would go with them. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. But now the hard part, trying to find a moving target.

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**A/N: I can't decide if I like this chapter or not I really had a lot of trouble writing it****, hopefully it is not as bad as I think it is. Please review.**

**P.S. I am not quite finished with the story, but I am close. Some chapters are finished and most have a decent start, so hopefully the next chapter will not take as long to post as this one did.  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys sorry it has been like a month since my last update but I was busy. Hopefully my Alice and Jasper one-shots were keeping you somewhat entertained so you did not miss this story too much.**

**Big thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for beating**

**Italics are visions

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_"He's becoming a problem," Maria stated coldly to the vampire next to her._

_"Whitlock?"_

_"I want him dealt with tonight."_

_"He'll kill us."_

_"Excuse me?" Maria's tone indicated he had said something wrong._

_"He'll be dealt with," was the meek reply._

_"That's what I thought you said." Maria turned briskly and left._

Alice closed her eyes and shook her head quickly becoming angry at Maria for being so coldhearted. She hoped that Peter and Charlotte could get to him before Maria did.

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"How much longer, Peter?" Charlotte asked anxiously as she continued to scan their surroundings from behind the rock.

"I am sure it will only be a few more minutes," Peter said while sitting on the ground with his back resting against the rock.

"How do you even know he will come this way?"

"He always came out this way, he likes being alone."

"I hope you are right," Charlotte said. They both knew it was better to wait for him to come to them than to go running around looking for him.

"He's been here recently, his sent is still fresh," Peter offered, trying to reassure her.

"Peter, I think I see him," she whispered as quietly as possible.

"What do you mean you think you see him?" Peter muttered back as he pulled himself up, but keeping low enough to avoid being seen. He peered up over the rock in direction Charlotte was looking. "What has she done to him?" He hissed angrily. He could not believe that the man he was looking at was his friend, his brother in combat. He had always known that this life was not for Jasper, that even though Maria tried to make him emotionless she had not succeeded.

"Stay here," Peter ordered giving her a sharp look asking her not to argue with him.

Charlotte nodded reluctantly but her eyes said she would help if it turned bad. He nodded and then bolted around the rock.

He came upon him quickly and hissed his name trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible. The reaction he received was unexpected. Jasper's lifeless body flew into action whirling around and slamming him to the ground. Jasper had him pinned and there was nothing he could do to throw him off. He saw Charlotte fly past him and jump on Jaspers back pulling on him to get him to let go.

Jasper stumbled backward as Peter scrambled to his feet. "Charlotte!" Peter called fearing they would hurt one another. Charlotte's head snapped up and she jumped over and behind Peter.

Jasper stood bewildered and then slowly the fear and panic settled in on his face. "Oh God," he whispered so quietly Peter was unsure he heard it. "Oh God," he repeated as his body started to shake. He dropped heavily to the ground and gripped his hair tightly between his fingers as he clenched his eyes shut. His body shook violently as he began to hyperventilate and Peter could barley catch the words he was muttering. "I am hallucinating. You're not really here, you're dead. "

Peter walked forward and squatted down placing a hand on his shoulder. "Jasper I can assure you, I am no hallucination. We have come to help you escape. Everything Maria told us about the north was a lie. We have not had to fight for territory and the others we have met have all been very friendly. Now come on Jasper, get up. Someone is going to see us." He pulled on his arm but Jasper remained rooted to his spot.

"Come on Jasper, we don't have a lot of time."

"Peter," Charlotte whispered fearfully, her eyes trained in front of her.

"What?" Peter asked glancing back at his mate. He then turned his head in the direction she was looking and his eyes widened in fear. He cursed under his breath and pulled Jasper as hard as he could, getting him to his feet. "If we don't leave now we are going to get killed," he whispered harshly in Jasper's ear trying to snap him out of it.

Jasper finally looked up at him, his eyes showing relief. "You came back for me."

"Of course I did, now come on."

Jasper chanced a glance backward to see two vampires advancing on them. His head whipped back around to give Peter a sly grin. "Well, let's go."

Peter gave a relieved smile before looking over at Charlotte. She gave him a small smile before turning and running for the border. Peter and Jasper took off at her heels and crossed the border with ease.

Once across, Jasper gave a heavy sigh of relief but then his face turned sorrowful.

"What's wrong, Jasper?" Peter asked when noticing the look on his friends face.

"I was going to kill her."

Peter cocked his head to the side showing confusion "Maria?"

Jasper nodded his head reluctantly as if ashamed of his thoughts.

Peter walked forward and rested a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright now Jasper. Come on, let's get something to eat."

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Alice circled around in the middle of the forest with a confessed and irritated look on her face. She was completely and hopelessly lost. She let out a frustrated sigh and proceeded to walk in a random direction.

After walking for several hours she caught the sent of something sweet. She was certain it was blood but couldn't distinguish what animal it was. Unable to contain herself from the sweet smell, she charged forward allowing her instincts to take over.

Alice came out of her hunting mode, noticing that the burn in her throat was gone, which confused her, as she knew the burn never went away. Looking down at her kill for the first time her hand shot to her mouth in horror, it was not an animal she had killed. It was a human.

He lay in a crumpled heap; she knew his final moments had been filled with nothing but pain. She could see several bones were broken, his left shoulder was out of its socket, a large chunk of his neck was missing and a look of horror was frozen on his face. She backed away slowly shaking her head, refusing to believe that she had been the creator of the gruesome scene. When it became too much she turned and ran, not caring where she was going.

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Jasper was squatted by a river rubbing his hands ferociously in the water. He knew that they were clean, and yet they still felt dirty. They always did after a kill.

"Jasper, what are you doing?"

He flinched slightly before pulling his hands out of the water and shaking them "Washing." He stood, wiping the cool water onto his pants. "Did you need something?"

"No, you were just gone for while, we were concerned."

Jasper nodded and started to walk away from the river, Peter followed closely beside him. As they neared where Charlotte was waiting, Jasper could feel Peter's excitement and happiness swell. "You really love her," it wasn't a question but a statement.

"She's everything to me."

"You're really lucky to have found her, Peter."

"Yeah." Peter looked over to notice that Jasper had a far away look on his face so he elbowed him sharply in the rib. Jasper looked over with narrowed eyes. "You'll find someone too one day," Peter said with a smirk, trying to be helpful.

Jasper shook his head dismissively, "I wouldn't deserve her."

Peter threw his arm around Jasper's shoulder and gave him a knowing smile. "You'll see, Jasper. One day she'll just walk into your life and nothing will be the same again."

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Alice sat against a tree with her eyes closed, breathing deeply. She did not want to believe that she had killed a human. She stood shakily, her back still pressed against the tree. She brought her bloodstained hands forward and let out a broken sob. Her hands then shot down to her sides as she pushed off the tree ran towards the sound of water.

She stopped on the edge of river and stared angrily at her reflection. Her eyes, which had had gold flecks in them, were now back to their original bright red. She could not even see the original color of the gown and her skin was stained as well. She gave an angry snarl as she jumped into the water and began to scrub harshly at her skin, hoping that if she scrubbed hard enough maybe the memories would wash away as easily as the blood.

Angered snarls escaped her lips as she rubbed her skin harder, but the memories only seemed to imbed themselves deeper into her mind the harder she rubbed.

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**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed :)**

**IMPORTANT: this story has been nominated for a sparkle award (Best Alice-Pre Twilight)**

**I probably won't win but you can all feel free to vote for it, the contest is being held by Zombie's Run This Town and the link to the website is on their profile. Voting started on June 1, 2009 and ends July 31, 2009, Thank you in advance to those who vote.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**IMPORTANT: more was added to the end of chapter 3 so if you have not read that you should go check it out.**

**A/N: This story has been nominated for a sparkle award (Best Alice-Pre Twilight) **

**I probably wont win but you can all feel free to vote of it, the contest is being held by Zombie's Run This Town and the link to the website is on their profile. Voting started on June 1, 2009 and ends July 31, 2009, Thank you in advance to those who vote.**

**Thank you HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing.**

(Twenty-six years later)

"Jasper…Jasper what's wrong?" Peter stood in front of him looking concerned. The three of them were in an ally with their latest kill at their feet.

Jasper was staring at his bloodstained hands with a look of pure horror and disgust.

"Jasper!" Peter yelled, trying to get a response out of him. Charlotte stood behind Peter switching nervously from foot to foot clearly concerned for Jasper.

"Jasper!" Peter snarled again as he gripped his shoulders and shook him slightly.

This proved to be a very dangerous thing for him to do as Jasper lunged forward and snapped at his neck. Peter stumbled backwards out of reach as Charlotte jumped in between them crouching low and snarling at Jasper. "It's alright Charlotte," Peter said as he grabbed her shoulders. "You know he meant no harm, it was only a warning."

Jasper backed up against the ally wall and slid down it pulling his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his torso, put his forehead to his knees and let out a broken sob.

Charlotte relaxed as sorrow overtook her and straightened taking a step forward. Peter held her arms tight, not letting her walk forward. She turned to give him a confused look as he shook his head at her, telling her not go to him. He knew better than anyone just how violent he could get. Peter then pulled her towards him and moved her behind him.

Peter took careful steps towards him and sat down next to him against the wall. "It's worse after you feed," Peter stated simply as he looked straight ahead. "If you want Charlotte and I can hunt for you, it might make things easier."

Jasper shook his head as Charlotte let out a sob and leaned on the opposite wall for support. The emotion hung thick in the air as Peter fought back a sob of his own. "I have to leave," Jasper said quietly.

"Okay," Peter said as he stood "Charlotte and I can clean up, we'll meet you back by the river." Peter offered his hand as Jasper looked up at him, his bright red eyes lifeless, as he silently tried to tell Peter he had misinterpreted him. Realization downed on Peter's face as he lowered his hand. "Jasper, you can't."

Jasper started to laugh but the sound was bleak and hollow. He rested his head on the wall behind him and closed his eyes as his laughter started to die down. He then opened his eyes and threw Peter an almost sinister look. "I don't recall needing your permission," he scoffed.

"That's not what I meant," Peter said slowly fearing that his friend had finally gone insane. "I just meant that you are in no condition to be going off on your own, you're emotionally unstable at the moment."

Jasper gave a short curt laugh. "I'm always emotionally unstable."

Peter shifted uncomfortably "All the more reason for you to stay."

"All the more reason for me to leave," Jasper countered. Peter gave a confused look so Jasper continued, "The longer I stay with you the more I feel I am going insane."

"Why?"

"I know what it is like to feel happy emotions, to be at peace…to be in love, I feel them so strongly coming from the both of you, so when I kill I can really feel their depression. When I was with Maria I was depressed. In an environment of war and death I never knew what it was like to feel happy. When I fed off humans, I never really notice their feelings. I guess how they felt when I killed them was how I felt all the time."

"Which is why you should let us kill for you. Problem solved."

Jasper growled and shook his head. "I can't stand anymore violence."

"What violence?" His tone was genuinely confused.

"All the killing."

"Jasper, killing is just apart of who we are."

"So that makes it okay?!"

"It's survival of fittest, Jasper. We are not taking lives in cold blood, we need it."

Jasper snorted in disagreement.

Peter let out a frustrated sigh "I don't know what to tell you, Jasper."

"I am not asking you to tell me anything. I am telling you I am leaving."

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Alice sat on the hotel bed with a map and a pencil in front of her. She had been living in the hotel room for the past month, winning money through poker games. For the past twenty-six years she had been looking for Jasper and still no successes. Now that he was with Peter and Charlotte she knew the odds of finding him were slim. They never stayed in one place long enough for her to figure out where they were, so she tried to stay one step ahead.

She had been mapping out their course in an attempt to find some sort of pattern in their migration and all she had to show for it were marks on a map. She could usually only figure out their general direction but then something would happen and they would head in a completely different direction. Alice let out a sigh as she lifted the pencil to mark a spot on the map when her hand froze in mid air.

"_I am not asking you to tell me anything. I am telling you I am leaving." _It was Jasper_._

Alice came out the vision, shock splayed across her face. He was actually going to leave them. She had known for some time that he was toying with the idea of leaving, feeling that he was more useless then useful. He had felt that he was causing them unnecessary pain as they were a happy couple and anytime he became depressed so did they.

Alice sighed and shook her head she could not be sure if this was a good decision or a bad one yet. Alice then proceeded to mark the town they had just killed in. Setting the pencil down, Alice tried to will another vision to get a better idea of where Jasper was going, but the vision she got was not the one she expected.

_It was raining and the scene was bleary except for one building Pete's Diner. Then it shifted to show the inside. Alice could see herself sitting in the diner wearing a dark blue dress with gloves. There was a cup of coffee sitting in front of her and every face around her was bleary. Then a bell chimed, the door opened and Jasper stepped in._

Alice was ecstatic she finally had a somewhat concrete place of where he was going to be. She scrawled the name of the diner at the top of the map and closed her eyes, tying to see what would happen next. She was disappointed, however, when the vision would not continue, he had yet to make the decision to go with her so there was nothing else to see.

But she was confused as to why she had had this vision as far as she knew Jasper had no idea where he was going. She decided it had to be fate. They were meant to be together. Smiling to herself Alice hopped of the bed and grabbed her things and left the room.

**A/N: I hope it is not a problem that I jumped ahead 26 years, I really did not want the story to move too slow but if you guys think it is now moving to fast let me know. Hope you all enjoyed**

**Just a reminder: This story has been nominated for a sparkle award (Best Alice-Pre Twilight). The contest is being held by Zombie's Run This Town and the link to the website is on their profile. Thank you in advance to those who vote.**

**This will be the last time I mention the contest.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**

**Single quotes are thoughts. **

**Thank you HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing.

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**Waiting**

Jasper sat on the ground in the shade of a dumpster, in a bare alleyway. It made him uncomfortable to be out during the day, even though it was cloudy, so he naturally looked for shade. He sat with his knees pulled to his chest and forehead resting on top. His body shook slightly trying to contain his thirst, it had been a few days since his last feeding and he was determined to last as long as he could. The smell of the rotten garbage was helping to cover the smell of blood, but nothing was helping the unbelievable burn in his throat.

He slowly brought his head up, his black eyes surveying his surroundings. He then glanced up at the thick overcast of clouds, and satisfied that the sun was not going to come out, he slowly pulled himself to his feet. He looked over at the dumpster disgusted before breathing in as much as he could and holding his breath. He walked out of the alley and onto the streets with his head bowed, determined to stay focused and not kill anybody.

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Alice breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to calm the nerves in the pit of her stomach. 'Calm down Alice,' she thought to herself, 'he's going to show up, you just have to think positive.' She closed her eyes and continued to breathe deeply. She had been living in a hotel in the city for the past several months waiting and hoping he would show up.

The day she had found her dress in a store she had grown excited and could not stop smiling, but then the town went through a dry spell and it had not rained for weeks. She had been forced to stay in her room during the day and would venture out a little at night. Then while sitting in her room, earlier that morning she had a vision about rain followed by a vision of the diner. Now she had been sitting on the same stool for the last few hours, ordering coffee she was not going to drink.

She took another shuddering breath as she tried to stay positive, it was not just the fact that he might never show but also that fact that if he did he might not come with her. Even the slightest possibility of him not coming with her scared her to death. She knew that even though she had seen him with her and the Cullen's, the vision could still change.

She just could not bear to lose him. He was all she had known her entire life and their life together was all she knew. She had seen herself with him, seen herself happy and it could all be shattered with one decision. One tiny decision could take it all away. Alice squeezed her eyes and shook her head trying to banish all negative thoughts. She had to think positive.

Alice sighed. She had always thought looking would be the hardest part, she never would have imagined it would be the waiting. She then started to lightly drum her gloved fingers against the cup as her smile grew at the sound of the rain that started to fall.

The bell above the door chimed and Alice turned her head quickly, only to have disappointment cross her face. A couple walked in the woman tucked in to the man's side as she tried to stay as dry as possible. The couple was smiling as Alice watched them walk to a table and sit down. She turned back to her cup of coffee. 'He's going to come.' The bell continued to chime every few minutes as more people walked in to get out of the rain and every time she turned to look only to be disappointed.

Alice suddenly stiffened as a vision overtook. She could see Jasper walking in soaked and his eyes black as coal. She came out of the vision to the sound of the bell and as she turned to look, all of her fears vanished.

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**A/N: Sorry the chapter is so short, but that felt like a good place to stop. To make up for posting such a short chapter the next one will be posted sometime this weekend, maybe even tomorrow, so I hope you can all forgive me.**

**Thank you for all the Reviews, Alerts, Favorites and PM's, they really mean a lot.**

**P.S. Thank you again to those who said they would vote for my story in The Sparkle Awards.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**

**Thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing.

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Jasper watched as the dark haired female walked towards him as his body unconsciously tensed in preparation for a fight. He could sense that she was not angry, if anything he sensed relief, but old habits died hard. He watched, entranced, as she walked through the diner, her heels clicking with each step on the hard floor. When she reached him he was surprised by her size, she barely came up to his shoulder and she was in heels. When she smiled he found himself captivated by her beauty and when she spoke he would swear he had never heard a more beautiful voice. She accused him of keeping her waiting, but the tone of her voice was anything but angry. He apologized, feeling horrible that she had been waiting for him.

She only smiled and held out her hand. He surprised himself by taking her hand without a second thought, as if it had been instinctual. The moment his hand touched hers, he felt hope flood him. The emotion felt foreign to him he had not felt the emotion since his human days.

She moved around him towards the door and he followed her back out into the rain. A smile was plastered on her face as she breathed in the rain deeply. "I love the rain," she said, turning to give him a shy smile as if she was telling him the biggest secret in the world. He watched as her excited face fell sorrowfully, becoming completely heartbroken. She reached out slowly as if to brush his check but then pulled her hand back as if deciding against.

He found himself wishing she had not changed her mind, that her hand would brush his cheek. He almost snorted at the thought. As if she would ever want to touch you.

"You're so thirsty, I'm sorry, I forgot." He could hear the heartbreak in her voice as if the thought of him suffering caused her pain.

"It's fine," he said quietly, trying to comfort her, wishing the pained look would leave her face.

"We'll hunt," she stated simply turning lead him once again. His body froze at the word hunt. Alice turned when she felt him resist. "What's wrong?" Her eyebrows were creased together in confusion. He only bowed his head too ashamed to admit what hunting did to him. "Oh," he looked up at the tone of her voice, it was understanding as if he had spoken his reason aloud. She moved closer to him, her body now inches from his, she whispered low and fast so the humans would not hear them, "I hunt animals, it might be easier for you."

His face took on a look of confusion at her odd statement before speaking, "I think maybe we should talk first."

"Oh, of course. We can talk in the forest, away from everyone." He nodded in agreement before she turned and led him to the forest.

She sat down on a rock with her legs pulled up next to her; Jasper took a seat opposite her on a stump. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Well first I would like to introduce myself, my name is Jasper Whitlock."

A look of complete embarrassment flooded her face and Jasper knew she would be blushing if she had the blood to do so. "I'm so sorry I never introduced myself, my name is Alice."

"Just Alice?"

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed, "I am not even sure it is Alice."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "How are you not sure of your own name?"

"I don't remember anything before you," she laughed as his face looked more confused. "I see the future and I saw you, when I opened my eyes I was alone in a field. Then a few minutes later I had another vision, and during the vision I wrote the name Alice in the dirt. It sounded good so I kept it."

"Well, it is a beautiful name."

"Thank you."

"You're quite welcome," Jasper said as he stood from the stump and walked up to her. He offered his hand and she placed hers into it without hesitation. "It is a pleaser to meet you Miss Alice." He then brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

Alice smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Whitlock. And please, just Alice."

"Only if you call me Jasper."

Alice nodded and hopped of the rock. "Come on, we're going miss the herd."

They had come upon the herd fairly quickly, stopping several hundred yards away. "Okay," Alice said as she gestured out to the heard "Do you need a demonstration or will you be alright?"

"Is it different than hunting humans?"

"Yes. Animals have better instincts, so they tend to run and you should snap its neck before you try to drink."

Japer nodded and then took off at a run after his pray. The animal had not stood a chance. Jasper was crouched over it as he heard Alice skip to his side. She stopped a few feet away as Jasper lowered his mouth to the animal's neck and bit down, causing blood to fill his mouth. He face turned into a look of complete disgust and he wanted nothing more than to spit it out, but Alice was next to him and he refused to spit in the presence of a lady. He swallowed the mouthful and the look never left his face.

He could hear Alice trying hard not to laugh as she covered her mouth "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would taste that bad. I am sure it will get better over time."

Jasper lowered his lips to the animal again and tried to drink quickly, grimacing every time a new mouth full of blood came in. Once finished, he looked up to see Alice sitting on the ground watching him. He felt embarrassment flood her when she realized he saw her watching him. "I'm sorry," she mumbled quickly and looked down at the ground, picking at the grass.

"It's fine, I know they can be unnerving." Over time he had grown use to his kind staring at him.

Alice's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she tuned to look at him. "What can be?"

"My scars, that's what you were looking at." 'That is all everyone ever sees,' he thought bitterly.

Alice shook her head "No, I was looking at you."

He could sense that she was telling the truth and had been just about to respond when he saw her stiffen as her emotions seemed to slipped away. He had never felt anything worse, it was as if she had taken all the hope in the world with her. "Alice," he called moving to her side. He put a hand on her shoulder and called her name again, "Alice." Still unresponsive, he began to panic. He felt absolutely useless, as he knew all he could do was sit and hope she would come back.

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**A/N: This chapter was a challenge to write and there I still think there is something off with it, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N: Hey guys I am so sorry for how long this chapter took to get done, I had a lot of writers block with this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Big thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for all her amazing work as my beta.

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Alice blinked her eyes slowly as her vision returned. She could see Jasper sitting in front of her with a petrified look on his face. His jaw was tense and his eyes, which had lightened slightly, were darker again.

"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, fearing something had happened.

"Are you?" he asked as his eyes scanned her body quickly, assessing her for any injuries.

Her eyebrows creased together as she cocked her head to the side, "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You froze up and weren't responding, I couldn't even sense you."

"I'm fine Jasper," she said reassuringly with a smile "I was just having a vision."

"Oh," Jasper said as he relaxed slightly.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, sometimes they just take over. What did you mean when you said you couldn't sense me? If you don't mind my asking." She wanted him to know that if he was not comfortable sharing his secrets with her he did not have to.

Alice noted that he seemed hesitant to explain "I…I have an ability to…I'm able to sense and manipulate the emotions around me." Alice gave him a small smile and Jasper could feel her happiness and joy but what he did not feel was surprise. "You knew that didn't you?"

The smile fell from Alice's face and Jasper could feel her happiness and joy replace with guilt. "Yes," Alice whispered quietly as she looked at the ground too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

Jasper felt guilty that he had upset her he hadn't been trying to. He leaned forward and cupped her chin bringing her eyes up. "I'm sorry, please don't feel guilty, it's fine, really."

"I knew that you could feel them, I had no idea you could manipulate them too."

"It is not nearly as impressive as your gift. Are you always so…unaware?"

"I guess so," she said with a shrug.

Jasper did not know what upset him more the fact that she was unaware during her visions or the fact that she did not seem to care. "You really should be more careful."

Alice smiled softly. "I'll try." She then stood, dusting off her dress. "The sun is going to come out soon. I have a hotel room we can stay in until nightfall, the storm is moving. If you would like to come, that is."

Jasper wondered ideally if she was lonely, she seemed like the type of person to him that would enjoy company. "As long as you are okay with it."

He was confused at the bright smile that covered her face and the happiness that flooded her system. "Of course I am okay with it," she held out her hand and he stared at her in amazement for a moment. He could not even fathom how lonely she was if she was excited to have him with her.

Jasper followed behind her as she opened the door to her hotel room. The room was nothing special. It had a bed, a small table with a radio on it, a chair, a larger table with two chairs and a dresser.

"There's a shower in the room," Alice said as she flipped on the lights. She then walked toward the table and opened a bag. "I got you some clothes too, if you wanted to change."

Jasper glanced down at the clothes he had on. Everything was torn and stained with dirt, grass, blood and stuff he was not even certain as to what it was. His shirt was missing buttons and the left sleeve was hanging on by its thread. He bowed his head, embarrassed at how he looked. Then he moved to run his fingers through his hair and flinched when he couldn't because of the tangles.

"Jasper?" His head whipped up as he pulled his hand from his hair and shifted into a more defensive stance.

Alice took a step back and Jasper felt angered that he was making her nervous to come near him. He was confused however when she smiled and he could sense no nervousness like he had come to expect.

"Are you okay?" she asked holding the cloths out to him. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel threatened by her. She was trying to give him his space so she did not crowd him.

"Yes," he reached out and took the clothes. "Thank you, I'll pay you back for them."

"Don't worry about it, the money is practically stolen anyway." When he gave her a confused look she elaborated. "During poker games, once the cards are shuffled the order of the deck is decided, then it is just a matter of figuring out who has what."

He nodded in understanding.

"I'd still like to pay you back."

"Okay," Alice said as she did not want to fight with him. "It is really not necessary so please don't stress about it."

He nodded and she smiled "Would you like to shower?"

"A shower sounds nice," Jasper then bowed his head bashfully. "You might have to show me how to work it though."

"Of course, right this way." Alice led him into the bathroom and showed him how to operate it, then left him to shower.

She walked over to the table and pulled a notepad out of a bag. She then sat down on the bed and opened the book, pulling out a folded up map. She looked it over and sighed she had no idea where to go from here. The last mark on the map was a dead end. They had moved again, and she had no idea where to. Pushing the map aside she open the notebook to the first blank page and began to draw.

A little after forty minutes the shower was still running but Alice insisted on giving as much space as she could. Thirty minutes later she began to get concerned so she slid off the bed and walked over to the bathroom. She knocked lightly on the door. "Is everything alright in there, Jasper?"

The shower then turned off and she heard him get out, "Jasper you don't have to get out, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

He opened the door and stood before her dressed with his hair dripping wet. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uh…" Alice sat staring at him lost in his beauty; she wanted nothing more than to rake her hands through his hair. "I don't know, you were just in there for a while so I grew concerned."

"I apologize for concerning you, I am fine."

"It's fine, I'm sorry for interrupting your shower."

"It's alright."

They stood awkwardly for a moment. "Okay, I am going to go back to what I was doing."

He nodded and she turned away and walked back towards the bed. She stopped and looked back over her shoulder "You can join me on the bed if you want."

"Thank you, but I don't think that would be very proper." He felt that he needed to be a gentleman with her. She seemed so pure and innocent to him that he refused to treat her any other way than a lady. "I would, however, like to talk a little more about the Cullen's, if that is alright with you."

"Of course." She moved over to the bed and grabbed her notebook off of it and turned walking over to the table. She sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for him to join her in the other one. "Okay, you have to promise not to laugh, these are not very good."

When he nodded she opened up the notebook, "Okay this is Carlisle, I guess you would consider him the leader of the family. He's a doctor and very compassionate." She then flipped through several pages. "This is Edward, he has been with Carlisle as long as I have been seeing them. He is the youngest in the family. He plays piano and he can read minds, he is also the only one in the family without a mate." She skipped several pages again before showing him another picture. "This is Esme, she is the mother of the family. Carlisle turned her and they have been married for sometime now. All right, this is Rosalie. A beauty, huh? She was turned by Carlisle in the hopes she would be Edward's mate, but they were not attracted to each other. And then finally, this is Emmett, Rosalie found him and brought him to Carlisle to be turned and they got married. That is everyone. Any questions?"

"They sound nice. It is hard to believe they are the way you describe them."

"They are."

"I would really like to meet them."

"You'll come with me then?"

"If you don't mind the company."

"Not at all, I've been awful lonely."

"I'd be honored to accompany you then."

"Great, we should leave as soon as possible, well at night." Alice got up out of her chair and walked over to the bed grabbing the map off of it. "They are in Washington at the moment but they have been there for a while so they are likely to move soon."

"Will they be difficult to find?"

"Not as hard as finding you. They usually stay in one place unless someone messes up or people start to get suspicious."

Jasper nodded and then looked at her hesitantly. "May I ask you personal question?"

"You can ask me anything you like."

Jasper looked down as he nervously fidgeted with his hands "Why were you trying to find me?"

Alice wanted more than anything to tell him how much she loved him. That he had always been there for her and he was her greatest comfort. That he had heart that the life without was too painful to imagine. "I feel connected to you and wanted to help you." She settled on that feeling that it conveyed how she felt somewhat.

He snorted. "You really shouldn't have wasted your time with someone like me."

Alice smiled sadly as she reached out and placed her hand on top of his "Jasper…you're not a bad person."

He pulled his hand out from under hers. "You don't know me that well than." He was having an internal tug of war. Part of him wanted to be close to her, to be close someone. But the other part of him wanted to stay away. She seemed so innocent to him that it made him sick to think that his presence alone was tainting her.

What's your favorite color?"

He looked up with confusion all over his face, "I'm sorry?"

"Your favorite color?"

"What does that have to do with what we were just discussing?"

"You said I did not know you that well, so I asked you something I don't know."

For the life of him he could not fathom of all of the questions to ask she would ask something as trivial as his favorite color, "Blue."

"Mine's yellow, it is just such a bright happy color. I think that is why I really love sunflowers. I wish I could walk around when it is sunny out. I love feeling the warm rays and how the sun hides nothing. I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"It's perfectly fine, I am not much of a talker."

Alice smiled. "Careful what you say I just might talk your ear off."

"I think I'll take my chances."

Alice stood and moved over to the window, pushing the blinds open slightly to look out. "We'll be able to leave in a few minutes, the sun has almost set."

"That's good."

Alice nodded as she released the blinds "I should make sure I have all my stuff together." Alice moved away from the window and walked over to her bed grabbing her things off of it. She walked back over to the table and put her things in the bag.

Alice then walked over to her closet and opened it pulling out a pale pink dress. "This is the dress I wore when it was warmer, I can't really carry around a whole lot so I would buy a new dress every time I settled for a while."

Jasper nodded as she walked across the room and folded the dress placing it in the bag. "Okay, I think that's everything." She grabbed the bag and placed in on her shoulder, then held out her hand smiling brightly. "Let's go find the Cullen's."

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**A/N: I hope the longer chapter made up some for the late update.**** Please let me know if they are out of character, I find it is hard to write them when they are together but not a couple. Please review.**


	8. 20 Questions

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait.**

**Thank you to HappilyEverAfter7 for Betaing

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**20 questions**

"Lets play a game," Alice said suddenly as she danced out in front of Jasper.

"What kind of game?" Jasper asked as he shifted the bag on his shoulder; he had insisted on carrying it.

"We each take turns asking each other questions."

"What kind of questions?" His low voice dripped with hesitancy.

"Anything we want, but we don't have answer questions we are not comfortable with." She added the last part for his benefit knowing he might not want to share certain things with her.

"Okay, ladies first."

"Mmm," Alice said as she looked around at the forest and then spun around walking backwards. "What year were you born?"

"1843."

"Huh. That's a while ago," Alice said as she continued to walk backwards stepping over and around things expertly. "Okay, your turn."

He thought for a moment,. "Your favorite vision?"

"The one of the diner," she admitted. "If I hadn't seen it, I may have spent another thirty years searching for you."

"You wouldn't have just given up and gone to find the Cullens?"

"Hey, it's my turn to ask a question," she said with a laugh.

"I apologize." Jasper bowed his head staring at his shoes as he walked.

The smile fell from her face, "Jasper, it's fine, I was joking. I never would have given up trying to find you."

He thought for a moment. "Why is that? Why wouldn't you have given up?"

"It felt like fate. When I saw you in my vision, it felt like we were supposed to meet, like some outer force wanted us to. I would never just give that up."

The corners of his lips started to turn up just the slightest causing Alice's eyes to light up and her smile to return. "That reminds me, you never asked me about the vision I had earlier."

"I did not want to be rude."

"Jasper I want to share my visions with you as long as you want to listen."

"I'll always listen," he sighed.

"It was of the Cullens, I have not seen them in a while. Rosalie and Emmett are getting married again."

"Again?"

"Yes, they had another wedding a few years ago but I guess they like to get remarried a lot. I think Rosalie likes the attention," she added with a laugh. "'Kay, my turn. Your favorite time of day?"

"Night."

"I prefer sunrises, all of the different colors are so beautiful. I watch it rise every chance I get." She closed her mouth sharply. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling again."

"It's fine, you answered the question I was going to ask anyway."

"Oh, I'm sorry, ask me a different question." She was not really sorry; she had purposely given him the information in the hopes that would help him become more comfortable with her.

"If you could have one thing in the world what would it be?"

Alice slowed eventually coming to a stop and looked down at the ground "To know that someone loves me."

Jasper was taken aback by her honesty that she would open herself up to him like that. Yet with that statement he felt like they were a lot more a like than they were different. "I am sure the Cullens will love you," he said in what he hoped was a comforting voice.

She smiled sadly as if that had not been quite what she hoped to hear. "I hope so," she breathed with a twinge of woe in her voice. She walked forward, stopping at his side and then turned. "It will be easier to talk side by side," she explained. "Where were you born?"

"Houston, Texas."

"Your favorite thing to hunt?"

"Deer, they don't taste the best, but I love chasing them. They move fairly quickly and are graceful, so for me they make the most interesting hunting."

Jasper felt his mouth break into an unfamiliar form as a sound escaped his lips. He had not heard in a long time.

Alice looked up at him her eyes brightly shining with a smile plastered on her face. "I've never heard you laugh before."

Jasper looked down bashfully and mumbled, "It was not much of a laugh."

"It was beautiful and don't worry I will be sure to get a real laugh out of you." Alice then skipped away from his side twirling and dancing out in front of him. "What did you find so funny?"

Jasper hesitated before speaking. "The thought of you taking down a deer."

Alice gave a laugh as she spun around. "Are making fun of my size?"

"No of course not--" Panic washed over his face.

Alice was quick to interrupt him "I tore the head completely off of my fist deer and crushed its ribs. I did not know my own strength."

"We are stronger during our first year."

"That is what Carlisle said. It's your turn to ask a question, in fact you should ask two, because I asked you two."

"Your favorite season?"

"Mmm…I don't know. I love all the seasons. I guess it would have to be a tie between spring and autumn. I love all of the beautiful flowers that bloom in spring; I really enjoy picking the wildflowers. And in the autumn all of the leaves changing into such vivid colors they are so much fun to play in when they fall to the ground too. I don't like how all of the tress are bare during the winter though, it makes me feel lonely, but I love the snow. Summer would be my least favorite because there is no real change. Next question?"

"Have you taken a dancing class?"

"No, I don't believe I have, I just love to dance, it makes me feel so free. What's your favorite season?"

He shrugged his shoulders "I don't really have a favorite." Alice nodded, excepting his answer. He swallowed thickly before asking the fear present in his voice "Why is it that you are not afraid of me?"

Alice cocked her to the side. "Why would I be afraid of you?"

"My scars should be enough of a reason."

"That is a stupid reason to be afraid of you."

He looked at her confused for a moment, "Everyone is."

"Well then everyone is stupid." She stated it with such confidence, and he wanted terribly to believe her.

"It is a warning to our kind that I am dangerous."

"You're not dangerous, at least not to me."

"Clearly you have never seen me fight," he said with a disgusted tone.

"I have and that is how I know I don't have to be afraid of you. I know you won't hurt me."

"Are you saying you're a better fighter than me?"

"No, I don't know how to fight, I am sure if you wanted to kill me you could, but that is just it, I know you would not want to kill me."

"You have quite a bit of trust I me."

"You're not a man of war, you don't enjoy violence."

"When I was seventeen, I ran off and joined the army," he countered as if trying to prove her wrong, maybe on some level he was trying to see just how much of him she could take. He did not get the response he expected.

Alice stared at him in shock for a moment, her eyes turning sad. "You've been fighting for almost sixty years." She then smiled softly at him. "You're very strong, I don't think I would have the strength to survive something like that." Jasper's nose crinkled in repulsion as the thought of her being in the southern wars crossed his mind. "Are you okay?"

Jasper blinked his and looked down to see Alice looking at him with completely worried face. "I'm fine, just reliving some memories."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Jasper shook his head dismissively. "It's fine, I'm the one who started talking about war. I really should be the one apologizing, war is not an appropriate topic to be discussing with you."

Alice smiled reaching out and taking his hand. "You're such a gentleman. But you can tell me anything you want, I'll always listen."

He was speechless but he knew there were some things he could not tell her, instead he settled for a nod.

Alice then smiled and closed her eyes, sniffing the air. "Would you like to get something to eat?" Jasper grimaced slightly at the memory of the deer blood, causing Alice to look at him sympathetically. "It's a bear, they taste better than deer."

"We could try it."

"Okay, this way." Alice picked up her pace so they were running through the forest.

Once they were close enough to the bear they came to a stop, watching it for a moment. "There is a herd of deer near by that I'll go hunt, we'll meet back here okay?" Alice suggested.

"The bear would not be enough to share?" Jasper asked.

"I didn't know how you would feel about sharing, I don't mind drinking deer."

"You said that it tasted better, it would not feel right for me to let you drink something that does not taste as good as what I am drinking."

"It's fine, Jasper."

"I insist."

Alice smiled "Alright."

After a few minutes the bear was dead and they were both on the ground feeding. Jasper seemed to have less trouble drinking but was still struggling. Alice pulled her lips from the animal licking up the blood that had stained them. She watched as Jasper continued to struggle with his feeding and within a few more minutes he had drained the rest of the bear's blood.

"You did not seem to struggle as much," she said giving him a bloody smile.

"It tasted better."

"I'm glad." She looked out over the field, softly feeling Jasper's eyes on her. She turned to look and watched as he lowered his eyes causing her to smile. "Come on," she said as she stood up and held out her hand. He reached out taking it, engulfing her small hand. "We've got a long journey ahead of us." He stood and they both disappeared off into the forest.

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**A/N: Sorry about the long wait, I hope it was worth it.**

**Please review :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I was so excited that this story might hit a 100 reviews before I updated again and I was only one short. So I am excited that it might hit 100 with this chapter :)**

**Big big thank you to my amazing Beta HappilyEverAfter7 for all of her hard work.

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**

Alice sat on the bed staring leadenly at the bedspread. She just did not know what to do with herself. Her heart was begging to scream its love for Jasper but her head kept insisting that she would only end up scaring him off. She could feel Jasper's eyes on her and turned to look at him only to have him drop his orange eyes to his lap. A mumbled sorry passed his lips then he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as he fidgeted nervously with his hands.

Within milliseconds Alice was across the room, squatting in front of him. She reached out with gentle hands, and placed them beneath his chin. She placed her thumb below his lip and gently coaxed it from his mouth. "You really shouldn't do that, your going to end up biting yourself."

"It wouldn't be the first time," he admitted, his voice gruff.

Alice looked at him sadly as she slid her thumb up running it along his bottom lip, she could just barely make out the light, flat scars. She assumed the teeth had barely broken the skin.

Alice felt as if she were going to rupture. She could feel herself leaning in, unconsciously licking her own lips as she stared at his. They had been traveling together for months now and she was finding her strength cracking more with each day that passed. Every soft smile he gave made her go weak in the knees, and a small breath to catch in her throat. And with every touch, her stomach writhed, twisting into bittersweet knots. In that moment her resolve shattered, she needed him, needed to know that someone cared.

He turned away from Alice, and shut his eyes. "We can't."

She dropped her hand, her eyes teeming with waterless tears. Pain washed over her, she felt as if he'd ripped out her heart and crushed it. "I'm sorry," she whispered, unsure of what to think. She stood, and moved hesitantly away from him.

He turned back to look at her as she refused to meet his eyes. "Alice --"

"It's fine Jasper," she murmured, forcing a weak smile. "I understand."

"I don't think you do," he said getting to his feet.

"You don't love me, I get it." She struggled to keep her voice even. She felt as if the remaining life in her was being sucked out.

"Alice it's not that, I know you can do better than me."

Alice's face crinkled. "What?"

"You deserve better than me," he muttered, looking down. "I refuse to taint you."

Alice looked up at him slowly, her eyes radiating compassion, and walked forward. "I don't believe that, Jasper. I'm sorry I upset you, I didn't mean to. I don't expect you to tell me you love me. And I wouldn't want to rush you. It's just that you've always been here for me. If you don't love me back, it's fine, I'm fine, but I had to tell you how I feel."

"You deserve so much more than I can give you."

"Your love would be enough for me." Alice gauged his reactions carefully, and she could sense that the topic was making him uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable for her, too. "We don't have to talk about this anymore if you don't want to. I promise I will never bring this up again." She started to move away from him, but he gently caught her wrist.

"I'm a monster."

"No you're not, Jasper."

"I've killed so many people, and done things I'm not proud of."

"You feel remorseful for the people you've killing. That proves that you are no monster."

"How can you believe that?"

"Because it's true," Alice sighed.

"I don't deserve you."

"I love you." She surprised herself with how easy it was for those three words to fall from her lips.

"You'll find someone better," Jasper said harshly.

"No, I won't. I'm not even able to fathom that thought. You've been with me my entire life. If I could not see you for days, I'd feel so alone, so lost. I feel complete when I'm with you, and I cannot imagine feeling that way with anyone else. If you don't love me, I'll have to live with that. But if you do, why do we have to be miserable?"

"I just think you can do better."

"Shouldn't that be my choice?"

"I feel that you are choosing to see what you want to see."

She gave him a brokenhearted look. "I saw everything. I saw a beautiful angel with broken wings and a demon whispering things while she pulled the strings. I saw a man who was lost and confused. And when freedom was offered, he never looked back. I see a good man with a bad past."

"If I'm a good man, it's only because of you."

Alice smiled and shook her head. "No, I can't make you what you aren't. I can only try to make you see what you are. I'll never push you, Jasper, but know that I do love you and I genuinely care about your happiness." She looked shyly down at her hands.

She felt Jasper's hand brush over her cheek, and she lifted her head slowly to see him smiling softly. "How can you be so selfless?"

"Because when you love someone, all you want is them to be happy. Even if you're not."

Jasper looked at her for a moment, then looked down, pondering. "I do care about you, that's why I won't let this happen."

Alice sat for a moment, trying to think. "You should know that I never have to settle. With my ability I never have to wonder if I made the right choice. Jasper, I'm not trying to pressure you. I just needed you to know how I feel. The next move is yours."

Jasper stared blankly at her, slightly shocked. When she started to stand he surprised himself by reaching out to try and stop her. "Wait." He could feel her excitement start to bubble then simmer as she tried to hold in her emotions.

"I need to know that you are sure about this."

She looked her dead in the eyes, and her face the most severe he'd ever seen it. "I love you. My heart belongs to you and _nothing_ will _ever _change that. I have never been more certain of anything in my entire life," she said seriously.

He pulled her against him and Alice felt as if she was going to burst. When his lips touched hers, her whole body shuttered in pleasure.

She could feel the slightly rough texture of the scars on his lips and decided that it seemed appropriate. His lips were gentle despite the coarseness and she could feel the uncertainty in his movements. His hand tentatively cupped her cheek, allowing her feel the scars that resided on his palms. She loved that despite his rugged exterior, he handled her like a porcelain doll.

When they pulled apart she could not help the full-blown smile from spreading across her face. "Wow," she whispered softly and he gave her a shy smile in return.

"Yeah."

"That was amazing. I mean I've never kissed anyone before, but…wow."

"Alice, you're shaking." Jasper reached out, taking her quivering hand.

Alice laughed and then smiled. "I'm just so happy." Jasper smiled and leaned forward to pull her into his lap. Alice melted into his embrace. "I have never been this happy." She wrapped her arms around his chest. "I've never felt so safe"

Jasper wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "That makes two of us."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all like it. **

**Please Review :)**


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